Living Life on Your Own Terms: A Journey to Self-Discovery

As I sit in quiet reflection, a powerful question resonates within me: Whose life have I been living? Whose dreams have I been building? For years, my existence has been a tapestry woven with the threads of others’ expectations and desires. Today, I stand at a pivotal point, seeking to unravel and reweave this tapestry into one that truly represents me. "Build your own dreams, not others'." This guiding principle has become my beacon as I navigate the uncharted waters of self-discovery and personal fulfillment.

1. Childhood: The Foundation of Longing and Independence

My childhood was a paradox of independence and a deep longing for affection. Separated from my parents for the better part of the year, I grew up with my grandparents, creating imaginary friends and worlds under the table with paper dolls. At the age of 7, when I moved to live with my parents, the transition was far from easy. The stark contrast in our lives, coupled with the age gap between me and my three younger siblings, left me feeling like an outsider in my own home. The joy of finally being with my parents was tinged with the pain of feeling disconnected, fueling my craving for attention and love.

2. The Craving for Approval: Living for Others

This craving for approval and affection became the driving force of my life. I found myself molding into roles and personas that would please those around me – partners, colleagues, family. Like many, I mistook the echoes of others’ expectations for my own voice. In this pursuit, I lost sight of my identity, becoming a chameleon changing colors to suit others' canvases.

3. The Awakening: A Question of Happiness

In my 50s, a profound awakening occurred. Amidst the routine of life, a haunting question arose: Am I truly happy? This simple yet profound question was a catalyst for introspection. I realized that much like Elizabeth Gilbert's transformative journey in 'Eat, Pray, Love,' I needed to embark on a path of self-discovery to find my true essence of happiness and fulfillment.

4. Self-Reflection: The Mirror of the Soul

The journey to self-discovery began with introspection, a deep dive into the heart of my existence. What are my priorities? What dreams have I left unfulfilled? In the words of Carl Jung, “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” This process of self-reflection became a mirror, reflecting the layers of conditioning and expectations that had long obscured my true self.

5. The Challenges of Adulthood: Survival and Loss

Adulthood brought with it a series of challenges – navigating the complexities of the workplace, facing the heartbreak of two divorces, and the constant struggle to find a balance between personal desires and professional obligations. These experiences, though fraught with pain and disappointment, were instrumental in shaping my resilience and understanding of life.

6. Reclaiming Your Dreams: It’s Never Too Late

Inspired by the stories of figures like Vera Wang and Colonel Sanders, who found their true calling later in life, I realized it’s never too late to pursue one’s dreams. Age is but a number; what matters is the passion and willingness to chase those dreams that once seemed unattainable.

7. Setting Boundaries: The Art of Saying No

A crucial step in this journey was learning the art of setting boundaries. This meant learning to say no, to prioritize my own needs, and to make choices that reflected my true self. It was about respecting my own dreams as much as I had respected others'.

8. Embracing Your Authentic Self: The Path to Fulfillment

Embracing my authentic self-marked the beginning of true fulfillment. It was a process of shedding the roles I had played and being honest about who I am and what I want from life. This authenticity brought a sense of liberation and a deeper connection with others.

9. Stories of Transformation: Shared Journeys

In this journey, I found solace in the stories of others who had embarked on similar paths. J.K. Rowling, who wrote her way out of hardship, and Oprah Winfrey, who overcame immense challenges to become a media icon, became sources of inspiration. Their stories are a testament to the power of resilience and the human spirit.

10. Reflections on Life: Understanding Priorities and Choices

As I reflect on my life, I understand that the choices we make are a reflection of our priorities at different stages. What seemed crucial at one point may lose its significance as we evolve. This understanding has brought clarity and a sense of peace in my decisions.

11. The Road Ahead: Living for Myself

Looking forward, I am committed to living life for myself. This means making choices that align with my true desires, pursuing passions that had been on hold, and connecting with people and causes that resonate with my soul.

Conclusion: A New Chapter of Life

As I write this new chapter of my life, I do so with a heart full of hope and a spirit reinvigorated. My message to you is simple: It’s never too late to start living life on your own terms. Your life is your canvas, and you hold the brush. Paint it with the colors of your dreams and desires. Let this be the beginning of a journey where you live not just by existing, but by thriving on your own terms.